Do you know that the destiny of your marriage depends on you? You have the ability to make your marriage successful. I know you may not agree with me for some reasons, but I am convinced that you can turn your marriage around if you are determined. That is not to deny the fact that you may be having it tight in your marriage.
The good news is having the right mindset toward tough times bring the best out of you. That is why in my previous post I talked about changing your mindset because everything depends on how you think. The scripture says,
“As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man”. Prov.27:19
“For as he thinks in his heart so is he” Prov.23:7a
In case you haven’t read the previous post, here it is for you.The Secret of a Successful Marriage
The starting point
Now, how do you get hold of the destiny of your marriage? The scripture in 1 Pet.3:1-2,4b says,
“Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words, by the behaviour of their wives. When they see the purity and reverence of your lives; the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”.
The portion that impresses me most in the text is the phrase that says, “which is of great worth in God’s sight”.
According to this text, your INNER BEAUTY is the #1 secret. You would agree with me that what attracted your husband to you was your beauty; both outward and inward. How you adorn yourself inwardly matters a lot in influencing the destiny of your marriage.
How you can influence your husband positively
The issue of mindset change is key; With the right mindset, you would not consider it a big deal to submit to your husband. I think when the Bible talk of submission it refers to RESPECT. In this case, you respect your husband not because of who he is; but because of the love, you have for Jesus.
There are many ways you can show respect to your husband; the following are some of them:
Every human being cherishes honour especially men. Show your husband how important he is to you. Try and do what he tells you which is not against God’s Will without complaining. I don’t mean you should do it under duress, but deliberately for the sake of Jesus.
Accept him for who he is
Commend his strengths, and don’t criticize his weaknesses. Try to accommodate his weaknesses without being resentful. That does not imply you should not correct him, but do that at the appropriate time in love. That would motivate him to improve on areas of his weakness to receive more comments from you.
Talk to him with respect
The scripture says,
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life; but perverseness in it breaks the spirit” Prov.15:4.
Always mind the way you talk to him especially when you want to correct him. Your words should sound as a suggestion, not as an instruction. And don’t insist that he must accept your correction. If he rejects it, don’t hold it against him ‘instead pray for him. God would do the rest for you.
Appreciate his effort
Always thank him for any good thing he does to the family. You may buy a gift or do anything he cherishes to demonstrate that you appreciate him. Next time he would like to do more.
Always compliment him whenever he makes any achievement. When he feels like a failure, tell him how you believe in his ability. Let him know that you don’t consider him as a failure. That would make him feel like a man.
Learn to compose yourself when he is angry
Whenever he loses control of his emotions for whatever reason, learn to be calm. He might shout at you unnecessarily, don’t answer him back. Pray in your heart for wisdom to handle the situation at hand; don’t respond in the same mood as his. That would humble him.
Be the change you want
Your husband may be committed in the Church and still fail to behave to your expectation. You might think he knows the right thing to do but deliberately refuses to do it. From experience, I have discovered that having head knowledge about what is right does not necessarily lead to obedience. Obedience becomes possible only when the person receives the revelation in his spirit.
So, don’t take into account what you think your husband knows. If he is not able to practice it, assume that he doesn’t know. Be the change you want in him. Let your actions speak for you; good character makes impact tremendously.
God satisfies the desires of those who please him
In the text, we read in 1 Pet.3:4b, we learned that our inner beauty is of great worth in God’s sight. What do you think would happen if you exhibit it? Of course, God would be pleased with you. Imagine the reward you would receive for making God happy. The scripture says,
“When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies be at peace with him”. Prov.16:7
Now, if you can humble yourself and submit to your husband, God would do the rest for you. You would be surprised to see the changes that God would make in him. Your husband’s love for you would come naturally; he would cherish, and respect you.
Please if you have any question or you disagree with portion of this post, feel free to contact me through the contact form on the home page. I would love to hear from you.