I think you would agree with me when I say every marriage has its downtimes. Those times can be challenging and demanding; they are times when your emotion becomes unresponsive like a poor internet network. If you have ever experienced poor internet connectivity while you needed to do something important and urgent, you would agree with me that it can be frustrating.
It is the same thing with our feelings; sometimes they get hooked, and then the relationship experiences a downtime. We all know how frustrating it can be to survive in the relationship at such times. Or is it not? I hate to see a woman feeling frustrated in a relationship; either married or dating. I have experienced it and I know how it feels; though we have individual differences. Well, it is possible for us to avoid such times; or even if they occur we can overcome them as quickly as possible. How? You may ask, that is what I am going to share with you in today’s post.
By the way, have you ever experience downtime in your marriage; I mean a time when you and your husband could not agree with each other over something and the warm feelings you had for him went off? If your answer is yes, I believe you can testify that such moments can steal your joy. I can almost hear you thinking that it is part of the journey. Yes agreed, but do you agree with me that not all of us are able to manage such moments successfully?
What if it was possible to prevent the frequent occurrences of such moments, don’t you think it is better to prevent them from happening than allowing them to come before looking for the solution? I am sure you are aware of the popular saying that “prevention is better than cure”. The scripture says, “
So, if we relax and think that there is no problem, Satan can take advantage of simple issues and turn them into serious problems.
Now, how do we prevent the occurrence of misunderstanding in our relationships? The easiest way is to understand who we are and who men are. I mean the nature of a female and her male counterpart. One thing I have discovered about us is, we like a warm environment where love and care thrive, unfortunately, it is not always the case. I am sure you would agree with me that, sometimes the man loses his patience and raises his voice at you.
When such happens how you do feel? Do you feel happy and smile at him? Perhaps you may, as for me, such times can be demoralizing. I always expect my husband to handle me with care whatever may be my shortcoming, but it is not always visible. I am sure that is your expectation too. Do you know what; it will do us good if we accept the fact that men have a different nature from ours.
I read a research article titled; “women are warmer but not less assertive than men”@ http://journals.plos.org/ by a group of psychologies who used a large data from the social media as their population for the study. The study revealed that language used more by self-identified females was interpersonally warmer, more compassionate, and polite. On the other hand, the language used more by self-identified males was colder, more hostile and impersonal. What does this imply? Accept a man for who he is. What do you think would happen if we try to keep our warm nature without expecting the men to be like us? There will be understanding, isn’t it?
It is also important we accept the fact that we are responsible for our happiness. It would be a great mistake to think that your husband would give you the happiness you are looking for. He is a mere human; only God alone can do that for you. I am sure you can recall the time Jesus referred to Peter his closest disciple as Satan. When he told his disciples that he was going to die, and Peter rebuked him that such would never happen to Jesus. Jesus did not mean Peter was Satan but he knew that Satan was using Peter at the moment (Mat.16:22-23).
This is to say Satan can use your spouse and interrupt the plan of God in your life. The point I am making here is, looking up to another other than God as a source of happiness can be disastrous. The scripture testifies that “
For us to prevent downtimes in our marriage relationships we must accept the fact that no human being can give us all we need except God. We are all descendants of Adam with the possibilities of failing in our responsibilities both male and female. Yes, we have been saved, but we are still struggling with the old nature, as the apostle, Paul wrote,
I am not trying to justify the failures of our husbands but I want to remind you that no man can do what only God can do for you.
So what is my point, that we should be cautious lest the little misunderstandings we do have with our husbands serve as a footstool for the devil to wreak havoc on our relationships. We have the power to prevent them from happening by depending on God to help us handle our feelings. When we depend on God our feelings will no longer have control over us.
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